Miyu didn't seem to care about what had just happened, and I didn't think it was a good idea to mention it, so I calmly followed her down the stairs.
Today's breakfast is banana yogurt.
Miyu let out another big sigh as she looked at each ingredient placed in the kitchen.
"I'm already full just by looking at these."
"That's, um, sorry."
What bad timing.
Cut, cut, Miyu peels the banana, picks up a knife, and slices it up.
Because of that just now, both my balls and rod shrink.
But the mixing didn't bother me, so we sat at the table face-to-face as usual and started eating.
"Hey."
There were doubts swirling in my mind.
Now that we've come this far, I can't help but want to clear it up.
"Miyu, when you give blowjobs... don't you hate it...?"
Miyu naturally gave me a blowjob, even though I had been denied it so many times.
Moreover, I didn't even ask her to do it; Miyu took the initiative this morning.
Now that I think about it, blowjobs aren't the only things that Miyu has come to tolerate.
Both doing it with her hands and the skinship itself are things that Miyu always hated, but after crossing that line at some point, Miyu simply listens to my requests.
Or maybe it was like avoiding something without even trying it out, but upon doing so she actually enjoyed it.
If that's the case, what on earth was Miyu's excuse all along, 'I won't do it because we're brother and sister?'
If I don't understand that, I don't know whether I can continue to ask Miyu to give me a blowjob.
If it's not a burden for Miyu, I want Miyu to give me blowjobs.
I don't think there is anything more sensual than Miyu's blowjob in this world.
Miyu's blowjob is my life.
"I can pretty much understand what Onii-chan's trying to say... But I also feel like there was sinister about that expression you used."
Miyu tastes the banana yogurt on the spoon.
I was a little too excited.
Calm my mind.
"But I guess the only answer I can give is that as your little sister, I have some resistance."
"You didn't seem to have much resistance though..."
"That's the problem."
Miyu tightened her tone and said it out loud.
"It's just not common sense, right? Genetically speaking, or rather instinctively, it's strange to accept Onii-chan sexually."
Sexual attraction between blood-related siblings.
Miyu says that this is the complete opposite of how living things should be.
I've thought about that before.
That feeling of discomfort that I felt when I was dating Sachiko.
I was conscious of Miyu as a woman, and on the contrary, I felt like Sachiko was my little sister.
Human instinct is designed to prevent us from liking blood relatives, even when it comes to our sensibilities such as smells.
It should be that smelling people who are genetically similar to you would calm you down while smelling people whose genes are further away would excite you.
In this way, living things are designed to eliminate those that are closer in nature and inherit vaster genetic information.
"But Miyu, you just fully accept doing sexual things with me."
"Precisely."
Come to think of it, at some point she said, 'I think about it, but I don't feel anything,' about drinking my semen.
"That… where did it come from…?"
"Where did what come from?"
"Like, have you ever thought that you hate drinking it, or doing it with your hands or anything?"
"I haven't?"
"Really!?"
I was told something amazing.
It turns out that the reason why she has refused to do sexual things with me until now was all a matter of respectability.
"W-well, if you follow that idea. If Miyu didn't care about us being brother and sister."
"Yes."
"If I told you I wanted to have sex with you, would you?"
"I guess I would."
Miyu simply said that.
I wonder if this girl is insane.
I don't think there are any bad ingredients in this yogurt.
Or maybe bananas have the effect of making you more tolerant of sex...
"Going back to the beginning, I didn't want to give a blowjob to Onii-chan because of my position as your sister. I didn't want to accept that reality but when I actually tried it, it turns out I didn't hate it all that much."
The criterion for whether or not Miyu would perform naughty acts with me was whether or not she could allow herself to do so.
That's why every first time that Miyu and I had served as an opportunity to overcome it.
"When Miyu sucked me for the first time last night, you let out a huge sigh. Is that because you admitted that you can give blowjobs?"
"That's right. By the way, the same goes for the toilet."
Ohh, so that's what this is all about.
Was it because of Miyu's mental adjustment that she became more open to doing lewd things with me after the toilet incident?
"I see. Miyu didn't mind touching me with her hands or having semen sprayed on her at all."
"That's not all. Even after being punished so much, Onii-chan still looked at my boobs and grew bigger, right? At that time, in my head, I was surprised and thought that Onii-chan was disgusting."
"Shockingly, I want to cry."
However, I can only agree with her, without even a single counterargument.
"But somehow, I thought that kind of thing was fine."
"What's 'fine?'"
"Doing more than that, or something?"
"I'm really glad you stopped..."
If I had been forced to ejaculate even more from that state, I probably wouldn't be in this world anymore.
When I was younger, I thought it was a man's dream to die during sex, but now I can't die until I enjoy what lies ahead.
"...So, it comes down to that."
"If you want me to do it with my mouth, I'll do it again, you know."
"Oh, I-I see."
Shocking foresight.
No, it was an inevitable conclusion.
Miyu continues eating the banana yogurt with a clear expression on her face.
She really has to be mentally strong when it comes to making decisions like this.
In any case, it seems that my questions have been resolved in a positive way.
Miyu doesn't seem to dislike blowjobs.
"But there have been times when you've been really angry...?"
"That's because Onii-chan tries to get my clothes dirty, right?"
"I'm deeply sorry."
Apparently, there are some points I can't negotiate.
After we finished breakfast, we carried the dishes to the sink and I washed them.
In the middle of that, Miyu hugged me from behind again and had a very short time of skinship.
Lately, she's been really clingy, but I wonder what the intention behind this is.
While thinking about this, I was absentmindedly brushing my teeth and relaxing on the sofa, thinking of playing the game, when Miyu came up to me. Both of us open the same game app, while she holds onto me.
As I laid flat on my back, Miyu overlaid on top of me, lying on my stomach.
Now I have no choice but to ask directly.
"Does Miyu like clinging to me?"
"Am I bothering you...?"
"I'm happy."
"I like it then."
Miyu looked worried for a moment, then after hearing my response, she lay down on me again like a dog taking a nap in the sun.
"Miyu, can I have a moment?"
I immediately dropped the app I started and placed my smartphone on the table next to me.
Then, I grab Miyu's shoulder, pull her up, and pick up her smartphone in the same way.
“I've been thinking about it since this morning.”
"What is it?"
After Miyu answered that way, she moved away from the sofa, probably because it was painful to sit up half-way.
Then she made me sit on the sofa, and Miyu sat across from me as she was straddling my lap.
We're in a so-called face-to-face sitting position.
"What is it?"
"Why did you reorganise?"
"Because it's easier to talk this way?"
Miyu tilted her head slightly, then took my hand and put it around her waist.
It's good that she's willing to talk, I guess.
"This is going to be a pretty serious conversation, but is that okay?"
"I'll listen to you seriously. I have something to say as well, so let's do this for a while."
I see, will Miyu finally be able to tell me 'something important?'
But before that, I need to make one thing clear.
"Can you come a little closer?"
"Yeah, yeah."
I pull Miyu's waist closer, and Miyu comes closer to me.
Then, as expected, Miyu clung to me even more tightly than necessary and hugged me tightly, burying my face in her boobs.
"I-I guess you should just stay away a little."
"Oka-ay."
Miyu stopped completely clinging to me and pulled her hips back a few centimeters.
I-I can't let this happen.
I was trying to have a serious conversation, but my lower body seemed to be reacting.
"Miyu isn't clingy to other people like this, right?"
"I won't do this to anyone but Onii-chan."
"Even if it's a girl?"
"I won't, will I."
Miyu answered gracefully while playing with her hair.
"Then I'll ask."
"Yes."
I have no choice but to ask.
There's no time to be afraid of knowing the answer.
"Miyu... do you love me?"
I finally spoke those words.
Before I knew it, our eyes were locked in a straight line.
Miyu and I look at each other with serious eyes.
"I love you."
Behind those eyes, I could clearly catch sight of Miyu's emotions.
Her gaze had the warmth of a young girl, clearly different from her previous coldness.
"I love Onii-chan very much."
She squeezes out the last of those words.
Staring straight into my gaze, Miyu's eyes didn't move an inch.
"That… ah, no."
Does Miyu's 'love' mean as a man or as a family member?
Suppressing my desire to confirm that, I believe in Miyu and myself, saying this.
"I love you too. I love Miyu."
I have already decided to believe in Miyu.
I want to be proud and love Miyu as a woman.
"Nfufu. I know."
Miyu gave me a mischievous smile and hugged me tightly.
In any case, clinging to each other like this seems to be the best expression of love for Miyu.
"I see. Everything started because I fell in love with Miyu in the first place. It's probably pointless to say it now, huh."
Miyu has known about my feelings for over two months now.
"Onii-chan, were you really playing a proper naughty game?"
"Ehh. Why ask that now?"
"Onii-chan doesn't understand a maiden's heart, your little sister is very sad."
Miyu made an artificially dejected face.
Unfortunately, eroges aren't actual materials to study romance.
If only I could at least have some options in mind...
"I already know that Onii-chan loves me, so you can have peace of mind and tell me you love me as much as you want."
"I see. I understand."
After saying that, Miyu remained silent.
Then she and I look at each other again.
A long silence ensued.
Miyu's face gradually became stiff.
"Haah... Onii-chan won't understand his little sister's heart for another 100 years..."
"M-my bad! Was it what I said just now!? Of course, I'm--"
"That's enough. There's no point in it if there's no atmosphere."
What was the point of having peace of mind?
But, well, I guess Miyu is right here.
"I just thought about it. The fact that Miyu loves me and gives me this much skinship, does that mean you don't really care about us being siblings anymore?"
"To be exact, it's in the middle of thawing."
Miyu still stuck to me.
"So warm it up even more."
Miyu looked at me with a begging gaze and looked as if to say, 'You already know, right?'
As I hold Miyu in my arms, I think back on how much we've interacted like this since we first slept together.
It was after I told her that I was going to have sex with Yamamoto-san that Miyu started seriously asking for physical contact with me.
I wonder if she was a little jealous.
If that's the case, I'm pretty happy.
"Well then, it's my turn now."
The time has finally come to hear Miyu's important story.
Before that, maybe a confession or something.
Either way, as long as she talks to me, anything is fine.
"What I'm about to tell you is the conclusion I finally came to after thinking about it for three months. I don't want Onii-chan to give me the same answer right now, though."
In a complete change from before, Miyu grabbed my hand and continued talking in a sad voice.
"Please, don't forget the happiness I'm feeling right now. From the bottom of my heart, I'm happy that I'm able to have mutual feelings for Onii-chan. Please believe just that."
--Even if Onii-chan hates me.
Miyu finished her introduction.
It seems that this important story is serious for Miyu.
But even when I saw Miyu's pained face, I remained calm.
"There's no way I can hate Miyu.. Somehow, I understand I can't just simply say something like that. But I still want to say it."
--I've always loved Miyu.
Even if the truth that's about to be revealed would hurt me terribly.
I swore in my heart that it would be like that.
So this heart would not be shaken in the slightest.
"I see. Then, I'll believe in you too."
Miyu's voice returned to a gentle voice as if a burden had been lifted from her chest.
"Did you know?"
Taking a deep breath, Miyu finally spoke the words.
"I'm really bad with men."
The truth told by Miyu.
"...Is, that so?"
How do I put it, that was information I already knew.
But I didn't understand.
That's why I took such an important fact lightly.
If I think about it, this is an important story that should not be ignored.
That's because.
"I'm a man though."
That's right.
No matter how I formulate the logic, there is no doubt that I am a man.
Miyu hates men, but she loves me as a man.
If both of these were true, then Miyu's feelings, which contained this fatal contradiction, should have been something that caused her serious trouble.
"That's right, only Onii-chan. Onii-chan is the only one special to me. This 'special'-ness will surely hurt Onii-chan."
Miyu foretold the outcome in still unclear words.
"Didn't I tell you why I don't wear cute clothes the other day when I showed you the inside of my closet?"
"Ahh, the one where you came home crying after your teacher and mother told you not to wear them anymore."
"That's right. Actually, there's a story behind that."
Miyu has always been an honours student.
It must have been a big deal for Miyu to be scolded by her parents and teachers.
"I was fighting with a boy at that time. As a result, some of them were forced to undergo tests at the hospital."
It's been starting strong since the beginning.
How fierce was this fight?
However, the cause was probably the fight with a boy.
Looks like the rumours Yuka told me were true.
"There were five boys who were upperclassmen. They all went to clubs, so their parents protested furiously at the fact that I had injured them. As expected, I was young at that time, too, so I couldn't bear to be scolded harshly by everyone."
Yes, yes, I'd like to say that it's cruel to scold a young child like that, but please wait a moment.
How was it that Miyu, who was in the third grade of elementary school at the time, was able to win a fight against an upperclassman athlete?
"Miyu, you weren't that good at sports, were you?"
"Well, yeah. But fighting is different. A thing called difference in preparedness?"
"Just like shounen mangas..."
But what is it?
Miyu, who I've come to know over the past few months, makes me wonder if that's possible.
"The cause of the fight was a confession from one of the boys. He's good at sports, has good grades, has a good-looking face, and somewhat mischievous, being quite the romantic pursuer. Even at that age, he... I guess he was doing what he had to do."
Miyu's upperclassmen at the time were about the same age as me.
They could probably even serve as my classmates.
There are a lot of great people in the world, huh.
"Anyways, I was popular with girls, and there were a lot of girls who wanted to go out with me no matter their standing. When such a person confessed his feelings to me, I immediately turned him down."
"Why?"
"Because I felt disgusted."
After answering, Miyu added that her 'disgusted' was not about the attitude of the boy who confessed or Miyu's physical condition.
"When I saw him from a distance and heard rumours about his personality, I thought he wasn't a particularly bad person. But the moment he confessed to me, I couldn't believe this person. I instinctively figured it out."
That was the origin of Miyu's clear awareness of her dislike of men.
These were Miyu's honest feelings back when she only had an innate aversion to men.
"A boy who was peeking at the scene of the confession was annoyed because he was rejected by me too. He forced himself on me, so I used a nearby pointing stick and a chair and beat up that boy."
"Eh."
"Then, for some reason, that friend got mad at me. I had no choice but to incapacitate him to the point where he wouldn't attack me. So, it was self-defense."
"Well, I believe that."
I understood the reason for the quarrel.
However, I can't see why the teachers scolded her about her clothes.
"Does it have anything to do with clothes?"
"It's just because I stand out. People have been watching me from the beginning, and they just overlooked me because I was an honours student. Then, after that incident, they started saying, 'It's my fault because I'm trying to seduce men with clothes like that.' I stopped wearing it in public because people started telling me what to do."
I see, such a label, huh.
Of course, anyone would hate it if someone said something like that to them when they were less than ten years old.
However, up to this point, most of the information I had received from Yuka was correct.
It was quite a surprise, but it's not impossible to understand.
"Is the main point coming up?"
Miyu was still straddling my lap lightly.
She nodded slowly at my question.
"After that, countless boys confessed to me. But none of them even made me feel like I should try dating them. Eventually, I got tired of being confessed to, and I became a bit of an unsociable girl."
'Even so, the number of confessions increased,' Miyu presses against my chest with a look of resentment, and I felt apologetic for her as if I had become the male representative of the world.
"Junior high school students are in the midst of adolescence, and being as big as Miyu will attract attention."
"That's right. What's the good of such a big thing for such a waste?"
I'm sorry, but I just can't agree to that.
The least we could do as men is show some sympathy.
"Is that the reason why Miyu hates her own boobs?"
"That's half. The other half is because I can't wear cute clothes."
Recently, because her breasts have gotten bigger, she has had to get more custom-made lolita clothes, which ends up with her not holding her head up to Haruka even more severe.
"Is that okay in terms of cost?"
"I say my breasts keep getting bigger, but it's just because Haruka keeps playing with them, so it's a net zero."
She's really careful in that respect.
It's as reliable as it gets.
"Well, back to the topic. I don't like boys at all, so until recently I thought of myself as a lesbian. In fact, I had no resistance to being touched by girls."
Even so, since there was no girl she could fall in love with, she apparently came to the conclusion that she wasn't a lesbian either.
"I've been living through such cramped days. I've always been worried that I can't like boys, and I can't like girls either."
Miyu suddenly begins to speak strongly.
Her eyes were pointed at me in a triangular shape, and by this time I had already understood the gist of what Miyu was trying to say.
"To my surprise, I saw a guy next to my room masturbating to a girl with the same name as me. It had a terrible title of something like 'Declaration of Child-Bearing With Me And My Little Sister ~ I will make it compulsory for Onii-chan to cum inside me! ~' Even though the heroine doesn't become pregnant until the end. What a bad movie.
She completely grasped the contents while saying 'something like,' but, um, she did look into it for the purpose of studying it, huh.
"Looking at it now, it was a terrible situation."
"It's nothing to be scared of. Does Onii-chan know how I felt at that time?"
"I couldn't complain even if I was hit by the computer..."
"You were really at that level though."
Miyu rolled her eyes sideways and calmed her voice again.
“But what really surprised me was what happened next.”
Yes.
That was the beginning of it all.
"I didn't feel anything when I saw Onii-chan doing it alone."
No matter how you look at it, I'm a disgusting older brother.
A little sister that hated men, but accepted her brother's masturbation.
It was this event that gave rise to such a composition that led to this morning's story.
"On the contrary, I was even interested in what Onii-chan would do after that. I couldn't imagine that with any other boy, let alone seeing them naked.
That's why Miyu forced herself like that.
That incomprehensible act of helping me masturbate.
But in fact, it was Miyu herself who was more confused than anyone else.
"I wanted to know what that feeling was. So, I spent a lot of time wondering how far I could go without feeling disgusted."
Miyu gradually closed the distance with me, and finally we got to the point where she gave me a blowjob.
It seemed like Miyu was finally convinced that she could accept me as a man.
"Was the reason you drank my semen to confirm that?"
"I wonder if that's the case.... The first time was impulsive, to say the least."
In addition to what she said so far, her body's reactions caused by her conditioned reflexes also troubled Miyu in a different way.
Her abnormally wet constitution from her lewd relationship with me, and her sexual urges, which run wild when we touch each other, had made one answer unwavering.
"I mean, I'm really the opposite."
Miyu felt disgusted by confessions from talented and manly men, and preferred being touched by girls rather than men, and in the end, she was only able to have sexual interest in the only person who was her older brother, me.
The seemingly inconsistent explanation of Miyu at first glance.
If I only look at this from the perspective of reproductive instinct, I can see the line that connects it all.
"My priority of biological preservation is clearly different from other people. The vector that my instincts should point to is in the opposite direction."
Miyu's instinct is to choose someone who is genetically close to her as a mate.
My parents were rarely home, so I was left in charge of all the housework and other tasks.
I wonder if such a family environment also affected her.
Or maybe my genetic structure is closer to Miyu's, even compared to my parents, who are said I have inherited half of their genes from each.
"I couldn't believe it right away either. So I kept trying to figure out how far I could go to allow this body to Onii-chan, and I got to this point."
And then Miyu started doing sexual things with me little by little, until now.
"In the end, instead of hating it... I realised that I was seeking that kind of behavior without even knowing it."
No matter how much she thinks 'no' in her mind, her body endlessly craves it.
So someday, we'll cross the line.
"Is... that so..."
I was able to resolve my doubts.
I finally understood Miyu's true feelings.
So, from the surface of my heart, I think this is a good story to hear.
However, to be honest, it's tough.
That fact was more cruel than I could have imagined.
Because that would mean denying Miyu's confession, the most important thing to me.
To say that Miyu loves me is not a complete enough expression.
The truth that can be drawn from the story so far is that 'Miyu had no choice but to love me.'
I wonder how to answer Miyu's words.
Just because I heard this 'important story' doesn't mean I hate Miyu.
I can still swear to that.
However, no matter how much I deny my thoughts, they never stop overflowing.
--What an unfortunate girl Miyu is.
"Yeah, yeah. You're getting it right. Onii-chan looks like he already understands."
Miyu staring into my face was still bright.
She is smiling at me with a genuine, innocent smile different from false cheerfulness nor resigned acceptance.
"It must be really hard. It's good to worry about it a lot. While I was worrying, Onii-chan was always pushing his sexual desire on me, saying he wanted to let it out."
"Ah, ahh...! I'm really sorry for that. Even for me, there are a lot of things I can't control..."
Maybe it's the same reason why I can only bust a nut to Miyu.
So, if I just look at that constitution, I can become the person who understands Miyu the most.
However, Miyu and I are in a completely different situation.
The reality is that I, who was just a boring otaku, could only fall in love with a beautiful girl like Miyu, and that the cute and talented Miyu could only fall in love with a failure like me.
No matter how I think about it, it's not balanced.
Miyu has given me a lot of things, and Miyu has continued to lose many encounters that she should have been blessed with.
"I guess it really is unfortunate. The me in Onii-chan's world."
For some reason, Miyu's voice has a bouncy brightness to it.
With an uncompromising smile, Miyu grabbed my hands.
"For some reason, it looks like you're enjoying this."
"Of course. Because in my world, I'm happy. For me too, I've already found the answer."
Miyu's body temperature is transmitted from both of my hands.
The hands that were clasped like this were engraved with the feelings I had sworn to Miyu just moments ago.
Of course that's the case.
What I need to do is not be depressed like this.
I have to find my own answer that will make Miyu happy.
"Can you give me a little time?"
"Okay. I'll wait until dinner time tonight."
"That short!?"
Even Miyu took three months.
Even though the hints have already been given to me, there's no way I can give her an answer that quickly.
"Because I want to sleep with you tonight too."
"It's not like I'll prohibit that."
"I don't mean just sleeping together."
"What?"
"Be aware of that yourself."
Miyu lightly tapped my forehead and jumped off the sofa.
For some reason, my spine was strangely throbbing from this exchange.
Apart from what Miyu warned me about, I felt like I had realised something very scary...
"I'll hold off on dinner until 8 p.m. So, Onii-chan, please show me the answer to what you need to do to make me happy."
"...What if I can't?"
"I won't do anything. I'm just going to let it happen. In the first place, I'll leave it up to Onii-chan to find the answer."
Miyu swept her hair to the side and added the last word, 'But,' in a mature voice.
"I want Onii-chan to be happy. Onii-chan is free to make his own choices, but if Onii-chan gives up... your little sister will cry a little."
'That's all,' Miyu ends the conversation, and she doesn't seem at all worried that I'll give up.
To summarise Miyu's words so far, it was, 'I'm not going to forgive you until you get the answer, so do your best as if you were going to die.'
"Got it."
If that's the case, I'll find a way to make Miyu happy, even if it means crawling on the ground.
No matter what difficult theories I have to put together, this will not change.
I love Miyu more than anyone in the world.
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